WIt’s good to be good. Good at poker, good at your job, a good dad. Good at anything is usually good enough.
Except in bed. In bed, we all want to be great.
Don’t Treat Her Breast Like a Bulls’ eye. Touching her breasts is obviously a go-to move in the sack, but you have to make sure you’re doing it right. Don’t go straight for the nipple, says Herbenick. “The nipple is very much like the clitoris, it’s very sensitive and loves attention, but you don’t want to touch it all the time,” says Herbenick. “Keep in mind that sensitive doesn’t always mean ‘touch there first.’” Instead, pay attention to the tops of her breasts first (above the nipple), followed by the bottoms, the sides, and then the nipples. Many people don’t realize that the tops of the breasts are actually the most sensitive part of the breast, says Herbenick. Lick it. Nibble it. Caress it.
Compliment Her Goods. “Our studies have shown that women who are more comfortable with their genitals not only more open to receiving oral sex, but they enjoy it more, they orgasm more, and they’re just more sex positive all around,” says Herbenick. So next time you’re spending some time below the belt, tell her how much you love the way she looks, tastes, feels—whatever you choose, says Herbenick. It’ll benefit the both of you in the long run.
Heat Things Up. “Generally speaking, I think that people know they should engage in foreplay first, but I don’t think many people always know what it actually is,” says Herbenick. Heading straight for the clitoris is not foreplay—in fact, many women prefer to be aroused before you even head to that area, says Herbenick. So before you even strip down and get to business, make use of your time. Caress her skin. Help each other undress. Explore and kiss other sensitive areas of the body—her neck, ears, and inner thighs. When you get aroused, your body actually changes the way it experiences touch, says Herbenick. So she’ll get more pleasure from your touch if you make sure she’s warmed up first.
Go Beyond the Clit. Don’t limit yourself (and her pleasure) to her clitoris. For guys who are looking to go above and beyond, the G-spot and AFE zone (anterior frontal erogenous zone) are great places to start, says Herbenick. Her G-spot can be found several inches inside the vagina, located on the front wall (the side that her belly button is on), says Herbenick. The AFE zone (also on the front wall) is up several inches behind the G-spot. “Although there isn’t any concrete scientific research to confirm the AFE zone exists, it doesn’t mean it’s not pleasurable for some people,” says Herbenick. So for those who are looking to score brownie points, Herbenick says that your best bet for finding her hot spot.